I wanted to repost this, as I learn this lesson over and over. We all get angry and that’s okay. It even happened to Jesus more than once, so don’t get upset that you got mad at someone. It’s how we react that matters. If we do it right, anger can actually be used to our advantage.
I am constantly finding out just how important it is, to think when I am angry.
Emotionally charged reactions often create results that are undesirable. Utilizing the passage of time, as a resource, is necessary for a good leader. Processing the anger gives clarity and purpose to the response.
Before we get into using anger, we have to know one very important thing.
Never hold anger inside.
If you are going to take advantage of the following strategies, then you need to be comfortable with letting your anger out. It’s paramount to the strategy. It’s a great stress reliever and honestly it’s your responsibility. If you don’t have the ability to let others know how you feel, then they won’t know how to respond.
How do we let others know that we’re angry and maintain our status as a leader?
1. We must use our brains. Thinking focuses emotional energy into a rational decision-making process. One way to do this is through silence and taking the time to understand what’s making us angry. We may be surprised at what we find. A good leader holds him or herself accountable. Not many people have this ability and it gives leaders an edge. Looking inwards for solutions, if done properly, can be honed into a superpower. It gives us control over our destiny.
Thinking through anger is easier said than done. At times, it’s almost impossible. There are many things we need God’s help with and this is a big one, because it’s connected to emotions.
2. Emotional responses are generally not good, especially during moments of anger. We almost always go back and think “I should have said this or that instead” or “I shouldn’t have done that”. Sometimes, we can do major damage to a relationship by over-reacting. Through active listening and truly trying to understand issues, we’ll form better responses.
One thing that helps me in this moment, is to think about who I am and what I stand for. One of the worst things a leader can do is let someone or something take them “out of character”. In some cases, we won’t get a do-over. This requires impeccable timing.
3. Timing of the response or action often depends on our ability to process. It’s really important to wait until we fully understand the issue. This may take a few minutes or a few weeks. It’s all subjective to the person who’s angry.
We’ll know it’s time to respond when we’re working to solve the issue, rather than attack the other party. This leads to a clear, thoughtful response.
4. As leaders, clarity and purpose should be the goal of any communication about our anger. This especially counts, when responding to something that initially angers us. We cannot respond thoughtfully, without thinking. And we can’t solve a problem, by piling more anger on top of an already volatile situation.
In order to utilize anger for growth, thought is required.
Remembering these things will help us turn anger into a developmental tool. By being slow to anger we will gain influence and by extension our ability to motivate people will grow far beyond our expectations.
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry – James 1:19