Stress leads to personal inventory and change.

IMG_0491Funny how life throws you curve balls.  Little unexpected events that make you re-think everything.  If you follow this blog, you probably noticed that I haven’t been posting as much content lately.  The reason is simple.  I’ve been busy doing a personal inventory, as a result of my hospital stay.  It has led me to some startling revelations.

You may or may not remember an article I wrote a couple of weeks ago about going to the hospital.  You can see it here.

This event in my life led to some serious soul searching and I found out some things along the way.

  1. I have extra stress in my life.  I have had to come to grips with the fact that this is true.  As a strong man, it can be hard for me to admit this. But I’m not going to get better unless I am honest with myself.  Most of this stress is self-induced. Some may be hereditary, but that’s probably only a very small portion.  I am OCD, type-A, anal and at times obsessed with perfection. I have very high expectations and I put those expectations on others.  I can be hard to live with at times.
  2. I have the ability to reduce the stress in my life.  Every single health problem that I have, going back to last year when the doctor told me I was possibly pre-diabetic, to my knees this year and finally my heart a-fib issues, can all be linked back to similar root causes.  I weigh too much, I don’t exercise enough and I don’t eat the proper foods.  And of course, I am stressed out.  Over the past three weeks or so, I have made conscious decisions to fix all of these things.  Through God’s grace, I have reduced my weight a bit, I am exercising more and I am eating much better.  As a by-product of that, I seem to be sleeping better and am reminding myself that things don’t have to be perfect all the time. I hope to write future blog posts in my health section that cover what I’m doing, my mental health and how much weight I’m losing.
  3. I have a responsibility to my family to do this. – This Father’s Day has special meaning for me.  It made me think about what a father really is and what kind of impact a good one can have.  I was fortunate to have had a good father.  No he wasn’t perfect, but he was good.  Scratch that, he is good.  He’s still around today and we talk often about life and other things in general.  His best quality is that he’s always been there for me.  He may not have the right answers or know everything, but he was there.  I want to be that for my kids.  In order to do that, or at least in order to potentially do that, I need to take care of myself physically, mentally and spiritually.  Sure, I’m pretty secure in my salvation in Jesus Christ so yeah, I could just keep eating whatever I want and die fat and happy.  But where does that leave my son, my three daughters and my wife?  Choosing that path is selfish.
  4. I have a purpose.  One of the reasons I started this blog was to leave something of myself behind so that my  children can understand who I was when they become adults. There are things I write about that they are too young to understand. We’ve got four children, all 10 and under. Now my thought process is changing. I definitely want this blog to be something they can read in the future, but I also want to be a living legacy. If they have questions, I’d like to at least hear them so I can guide them to the right answer.  I want to be there for them.  I basically have no choice but to make sure I am doing everything in my power to stay healthy.  It goes far beyond losing weight, but that’s a good starting barometer for myself.

That’s pretty much it for now.  Oh, almost forgot the weigh in.

Last recorded weight – 236

Today – 228

I’ll write another blog post in a few days, describing what I’m doing physically and mentally to get healthier.  Thanks for reading!

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